If I had a dollar for every time I’ve dated someone while they were at their worst, dealing with their own baggage, anxiety, heavily partying, not ready for a “forever” relationship, or the timing simply was way off (but everything else made sense)… I’d definitely have a lot more money and way less disappointment.
All throughout my adult life I’ve dated someone or have been “just friends” with or “just a hook up” to someone, but in some way managed to help them through something they needed to work on or heal from. Basically prepping, priming, or rendering them if you will; but not so they are more successful or suitable for me, (no, no - why would that make sense?). Rather, I was getting them ready to be their best, improved self for someone else forever. And what’s even better (said of course with sarcasm), is that in every case of a serious long term relationship, it was literally the next girl that they dated who they ended up marrying. Four serious boyfriends, and it happened all four times. If you’re resonating with this, I’m sure you’ve also started thinking, “is it me? “HI! I’m the problem, it’s me.”
Not necessarily, and here’s why:
Sometimes God chooses us to have a different purpose in a person’s life than what we think or hope or want. Remember that sometimes God’s way of answering prayers is by not answering our prayers, but by getting us out of a situation that we think is right for us.
There are definitely times when a person or relationship or connection is undeniably different and you just know there is a reason. At first you may feel all the feelings and assume that the reason is to be with them forever. Especially when you both feel that you make one another be the best human you can be - you feel recharged and on fire - the energy that is almost impossible to describe unless you’ve felt it. You truly seem to make each other stronger and better all around - like you could take on the world. But then you don’t. Something happens that makes you question everything or the timing is so wrong.
Perhaps the two of you were buffering one another to be better for the next person, or to help each other learn some type of life lesson that will catapult you forward to your true life purpose, to your person who God created for you. There’s always a reason.
Most of the advice I give I’m also giving to myself at the same time… because at 43 years old I’m still sitting here, now feeling content and single, but still to this day asking God what His true calling is for me, and the million dollar question that repeats daily is why?
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